Been two months and two days since I’ve posted. Not cause I didn’t want to mainly just cause I really didn’t have anything in depth to say. Since my last post everything has stayed relatively status quo.
The mental side of things keep throwing me for a loop but thats nothing new. Treatment is treatment. It seems to change day to day week to week depending what the rest of my body/metal state/sleep patterns are doing.
“never give up”
Since my last post I’ve had an immeasurable amount of chemo, needle pricks, lectures, x-rays, scans, tests, lectures… Since my last post nothing has particularly improved.
So I guess things haven’t actually stayed “status quo”, that infers that nothing has changed. My seizures are something that I’m starting to battle on a semi-weekly basis. Yesterday I was out walking, as I do to try and deal and process and I started to feel that light off kilter spinning feeling. I knew I had to do something quickly so I took my medication and had my ice water with me, lay down and shut my eyes, plugged into my white noise track on my ipod and next thing I knew it was hours later and I was in the emergency room. Friends were not happy with me… especially because they didn’t find out about this til a few hours ago.
In the chair today I am:
- Just going with it, I dont feel like I have any energy to fight any more but a little knot in my stomach feels to squirmy to let me get up an go. Its the same little knot that gets excited to race and hates losing board games and makes laser tag so unfun… Basically my much to competitive streak lives in a little knot in my stomach.
- I am not in the chair actually getting chemo today – I am sitting in a waiting room waiting to see if I can be squeezed in to see the speciallist I don’t actually have an appointment with… I’m hoping there’s something to be said about persistance
- Today I am actually feeling okay.
- Feeling pretty loved
🙂
In the Chemo Chair 